651985

good morning! i should not be up this early, but i wasn't sleeping very well anyway. so never mind my last entry. i'm going to stay on livejournal even though i do not write entries much. i usually like to come on the site and read entries of my friends when i have time to.
not a hell of a lot is going on with me. i have just been working lately. since the holidays. i had a good christmas. i got a decent amount of gifts, but more excitingly to me- i was able to buy gifts for everyone. i got my mother a picture frame which says "grandparents: hold our hand for a little while, but our hearts forever." i edited two pictures together of my grandma who passed away in august and put it in the photo frame. i also got her an ornament that says "in memory of grandma & mom phyllis" that holds a photo of her. then, i got her a sweater, a robe, a necklace that says the same as the photo frame but about mothers and is a heart shape. it's cute. i can't remember what else i gave her.... my brother and i got my dad a new winter jacket and i also gave him a cooler that i got from work, lol, and a pair of slippers. i also gave gifts to my aunts (the only 2 i talk with), my siblings (all 5!), steve (although he gave me a lot more gifts!!!), brenda, elena, theresa, my cousins (the only ones i really keep in touch with- josh and caleb), my nieces although i went overboard on the baby, caitlynn, and my nephews!!!! for christmas, i got the wii, the wii fit, a zoo pass, a discovery world pass, stuff for the wii, a bunch of wii games, a gift card to applebees, subway, coldstone... the dark knight dvd, slippers, alcohol mixes, pasta n more (i wanted that lol!), lotion stuff, picture frames, pictures of caitlynn! =] money from grandma {my auntie & mom gave all grandchildren of her's money from her account left behind when she passed away...with a poem in the card called "christmas in heaven."}-- that made everyone tear up. we all miss grandma but she lived a full life. and she's no longer in pain.... i remind myself of that a lot because she was sick-- but now she's not-- she was very religious so she's in the good place. =]
steve and i set an unofficial date for the wedding.... september 2010. a year and a half. he thinks it's too far away but i don't think that it is so far. on saturday, brenda, mindy (sister), steve, mom, and i are going to a bridal show!! i'm really excited about it!!!!! <3 i've been feeling so in love lately. lol. i'm all giddy!! ya'll see my userpic, hehe. it's cute. at least, i say it is.
my new years was fun at first and then it ended up sucking. so i'm not going to even bother talking about it. things are better now anyways. between my family and everyone. so let's just forget about it and move on with 2009.
i don't have much to write... i've been working lately because i'm out of school still. i start januarary 21st. i have 3 classes, only, and 12 credits (full time status!). i'm taking anatomy & physiology, sociology, and chemistry. i'm scared of taking chem....i have to pass with a b- too. last semster, i ended up with a 3.477... almost made deans list! damn it for missing it by so little. oh well. my grades were an a, another a, and two bs. i got a b + on my english final which i had to write a paper in class.....all alone.... and that teach graded so damned hard!! but i did it. i was so proud of myself... i am not really ready to go back. blah, but i will. i'm excited though.....
well, nothing else then. leave comments.

( avoiding homework )

hi all. once again, i have not wrote in a while. i've been busy with school and my health.



i begin going back to the doctors once again. this time, i'm going to frodert, which is a hospital in milwaukee. it's actually the hospital i would do my clinicals at if i do not move. i seen my new primary doctor once already and i didn't care too much for her. i wonder if i should find a new doctor. but i almost decided not to, no matter what, unless of course too much neglect is given on her part. she just was not personally at all if you get what i'm saying. however, she did listen to me about an unexpected weight gain. i've gained nearly 45 lbs in the last year without increasing my jean size. how does that happen? i feel so fat. =( anyway, she sent me in for a pelvis ultrasound. i had one done nearly two years ago and that is when they found ovarian cysts but told me not to worry about them. this doctor told me that they should be checked out and that they can cause pain. so she sent me in... i had that done just yesterday and have yet to get any results. although i did see some balls that had arrows on them that could very well be cysts on my right ovary and on my uterus. but i'll just wait for the results. as long as they are not cancer, i want to have cysts. i know it sounds morbid. lol. but if i have cysts, then that is what is causing the pain and this will finally all be over. but let's not get my hopes up. i'm just waiting a couple of days to find out for sure. then i'll let ya guys know...

a month & a half left in this school semester. i already need to register for next semster's class. it's nuts. didn't i just start college??? i'm glad though. i am TIRED of my english class. my grade sucks in that class! the professor is a jackass. but i am glad to say, i enjoy my other classes & i am averaging b's in those classes! yay.

lately money has been an issue. i don't work much anymore. (although this may get better because i have asked for more hours) ... i wouldn't survive without steve. while it makes me happy that he's willing to share his money with me so that i can live accordingly, it also makes me sad. i hate that i have to rely on something else. i hate feeling anything other than independant. but we're going to be married so i guess this is a good thing, more so than a bad thing.

i love halloween! i wish i could go to more haunted houses. although i already been to a couple && i went halloween camping. that is always fun. a lot of the sites made jello shots this year and while walking with the kiddies so they could collect candy, i collected jello shots. i became quite tipsy by the end of the night. hehe. the boys (steve, my brother, his friend tony) all stayed back at the campsite providing entertainment for people, by scaring the hell out of people. my brother went all out & paid good money for a lot of decorations that he hung at the site. we won second place for decorations! the prize is crap though. the haunted houses we went to were not great but they're okay. the second one is probably the best in wisconsin, as the "ghosts" actually touch you, it's at someone's house, and they have you do many things like go down a slide, sit on a couch, go through a skinny doorway, etc. i also went to freight fest, but sadly that is not what it once was.

i can't believe it is almost november. where does time go????

happy birthday to mannie.

i should go now as i have first aid training class in twenty minutes. i just thought i'd stop frying my mind with my paper and write updates.
BYESBYES
( this )

1.Where were you 3 hours ago?
taking a biology exam. didn't go over too well.

2. Who are you in love with?
Stephen.

3.Have you ever eaten a crayon?
not in the past 20 years.

4.Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
not in this room.

5.When is the last time you went to the mall?
it's been a while.

6.Are you wearing socks right now?
no. and my feet are cold.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
no!

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
I haven't drove lately.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
No.

11. What are you wearing right now?
purple shirt and blue jeans.

12.Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
never washed my car.

13. Last food that you ate?
mcdonald's last night.

14. Where were you last week at this time?
work.

15. You bought any clothing items in the last week?
nope.

16. When is the last time you ran?
i don't run unless i'm being chased. lol.

17. What's the last sporting event you watched?
i haven't since the brewers lost in the playoff game.

18. What is your favorite animal?
Monkey.

19. Your dream vacation?
italy!! <3

20. Last person's house you were in?
my own apartment

21. Worst injury you've ever had?
my back

22. Have you been in love?
Yes.

23. Do you miss anyone right now?
Friends. FAMILY I usually see more often and haven't lately--- Brandy, Shelly, Caitlynn, Austin, Mindy, Ashleigh, Amanda, Noah. And also my Grandma Phyllis, (RIP)

24. Last play you saw?
Christmas Carol... a long time ago.

25. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Hmmm. Ask Steve that.

26. What are your plans for tonight?
homework...2 papers. *tear

27. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?
I haven't sent anyone a comment or message in about two weeks.

28.Next trip you are going to take?
camping this weekend, visiting mindy at school

29. Ever go to camp?
Girl scout's camp. I've been camping though. See above.

30. Were you an honor roll student in school?
NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL. MAYBE MAYBE MAYBE IN COLLEGE...

31. What do you want to know about the future?
WHEN SHOULD I GET MARRIED/ HAVE KIDS/ WILL I MAKE IT THROUGH THIS ENGLISH CLASS?

32. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
I am.

33. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
i have an ultrasound tuesday. no, i'm not pregnant.

34. Where is your best friend?
i don't know... steve is at work though.

35. Who is your best friend?(s)
Stephen. Brenda Jay.


36. Do you have a tan?
No and I don't care either.

37. What are you listening to right now?
talking

38. Do you collect anything?
Not really.

39. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Me. Just kidding. GIRLS AT WORK.


40. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
I haven't.

41. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Yeah.

42. What does your last text message say?
It's some forward.


43. Do you like hot sauce?
I guess, a little bit.

44. Last time you took a shower?
this morning


45. Do you need to do laundry?
Always.

46. What is your heritage?
Irish, German, French Mostly, german

47. Are you someone's best friend?
I hope. :(

48. Are you rich?
No, lol. Are you kidding?

49. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
Homework and getting pissed off because I wanted to go to sleep.

50. Who was the last person to call you?
Steve.

I updated in my last entry, stating that my grandmother was sick. Although I was worried about her; I thought that she had years left. Parkinson's Disease is a horrible disease, but she still had years left. At least, we thought so. The Lord had other plans and took her home Friday. It was so unexpected and so fast. She went to the hospital Thursday and by Thursday night, we were so positive she would of pulled through. But she didn't. It's ironic that it wasn't even parkinson's disease that killed her. Her blood was infected; she had internal bleeding which they never figured out from where; and phnemonia. I miss her. I'm sad. But at the same time, I'm glad she's no longer in pain; that it went quickly for her; that she's with her Lord; and that she never forgot any of us, which was her worse fear. But it still hurts...so bad. I miss you Grandma. Rest in peace. I love you so much! We all do.

Even though I love you all, most of you I have not talked to in a while and I don't think many of you even read this anymore, so I guess that's why I don't write anymore. I hope you all still know that I do care about you. There's so many of you that I miss and wish I got to talk to more often.

I can't believe that it's already August. This summer has gone by so fast. My life seems to be passing me by. Things have been going pretty well, lately. There's somethings that suck and hurt me dearly, but those are also the things I have learned that I have no control over. Those things are my parents and their emotional health, for lack of better words, & also my grandmother's physical health. My parents are arguing a lot lately. My dad did some pretty shitty things to my mother and they've been talking about getting a divorce. Lately, it seems as things have been going better between them. But my mother is always upset and as much as I try not to let it get to me, sometimes, it just does. I just wish she was more positive about life. She doesn't realize just how much we actually care about her, even though I have told her time and time again. I know even my father loves her more than anything and is just doing some stupid things, because he, himself lacks self confidence. Basically, he's having trust issues and is watching my mother... which is really stupid. I don't know. I told them both that even if they got a divorce, I'd still love them both the same. All I want is for them both to be happy again. *Sigh*

As far as my grandmother goes, her health is getting worse by the day. They had to move her to a nursing home in the beginning of the summer and she hates it. She says she rather die then be there. I don't know. It's hard. I don't see her enough, but yet it's really hard to see her the way she is. She used to be the nicest, happiest person I've ever known, but now she's sick and depressed. I just wish she wasn't in so much pain. And I hope that she knows how much she is loved and admired.

Let's talk about something happy now. And get to my news.

Steve and I had a mini vacation on July 25th. We went up north to his friend's aunt and uncle's land on a private lake. The land is near his parents house in Northern Wisconsin. The whole weekend, we went camping on the land. Most of the time, we just enjoyed grilled food and drink a little bit, telling stories around the campfire. Saturday, we went tubing on the river. It was a lot of fun, even though my fat ass kept dragging because parts of the river were very shallow. But we did that for almost 5 hours; just hanging out inner-tubing across the river, with his brother and his brother's wife. Fun stuff. I can't wait until we can go again next year. :) On Sunday, we packed up camp and heading to his parents house. After showering for the first time since Thursday (lol), we met his parents at church and had a lunch. Then, Steve somehow convinced me to go on a picnic with him on a cliff at one of his favorite state parks. We stopped at a store along the way to get some fruit and champagne. That's when I found out I left my purse at the church, so no champagne for us. I found out the cops had my purse, and I got it back later so no big deal. We got to the state park and went on a hike to the highest point of the park, which overlooked Wisconsin. It was pretty!!!! We sat down and started to eat when Steve had me stand up. I was kind of confused by it because I was in the middle of eating and I also kind of realized what was about to happen... After questioning him why I had to stand up, I did. He then told me he loved me, pulled out a ring, which I feel stupid about now.. because I was too focused on that, lol! He asked me to marry him, and of course, I said yes. He told me later that he had a whole speech planned out, but didn't remember at the time, but he told me a little of it later on. LOL. It was perfect, regardless.

We haven't planned much of the wedding yet. I think the most important things are my dress, those standing up, the date, the church, and of course that he shows up!! HAHA. I know he will though. We don't really have a date, but I think it's going to be sometime in 2010. I think maybe in the late summer or early fall. I asked a few of my girls to stand up. Brenda is suppose to be Maid of Honor, but sometimes, I worry that she doesn't want to. I don't know... I asked my friend Cela. She's become a good friend. I met her at work. I asked my two older sisters to. I also want my sister Mindy to, but haven't asked her yet. I am trying to convince Steve to let me have 6 girls so I can also have my sister Sam. But he thinks that's too many. Bleh. We'll see. Two of the guys we asked our my brother and his friend, Matt. He hasn't talked to Matt lately, but I guess Matt was a close childhood friend. I think his brother will also be standing up. I'm not sure if he'll be best man or not though. And he has yet to pick the other guys to stand up. But we have time. We went to the state fair the other day and there's a building with shops and like a lot of advertising for business. We were just walking around when we both seen these wedding photographs done by some local photographer. I LOVE THEM! Of course, I'll look around a little more...but I think I may look into having them take pictures. One of the pictures was the wedding party standing on rocks by Lake Michigan and that convinced me to have the wedding pictures done near the lake and one on the rocks. We'll see though. :) We decided that we want to get married in a church, that is ours alone. So we are going to try to attend church services together and find one we love!!!! I'm not as religious as he is, but I do believe and I've always wanted to take my family to church services. That's about all the planning we've really done... besides for Cela talking about the bachelorette party already, haha.


Besides from that, today I'm going to try to get approved for a loan to pay off credit cards and buy a car. Wish me luck!! I'm trying to go back to school August 25th. But I'm waiting on my approval letter... and then I have to take a placement test. And also, I'm hoping to god for finical aid. I'm scheduling a driver's test as soon as I get my car. I want to pratice in my own car for a little while, before I take the test.

Well... that's about all. But that's alot, huh? HA. :)

So it sucks right now, because it's rainy out and there was just a tornado. UGH! It better be nice by tonight because some of us are going bar hopping for my b-day. My b-day was yesterday and I'm now 23. I feel grown. I no longer feel like a child. It sucks in a way, but in another, it's suppose to be this way, haha.

Last night, a few of my friends came out to the bar for my b-day. It was fun. I'll have to post some pictures sometime. I was pretty wasted. C: I came home and threw up, haha. I hit my head and my knee, on the bathroom sink and on my dresser, grr. When I woke up, I thought I was going to die, haha. But last night was fun. I like to drink, talk, and dance; even if I dance badly.

I know I wrote about this, but I deleted that entry so I thought I would tell you all one more time that I have finished my GED tests and now have a high school equiv. diploma. YAY! I'm getting ready to go to some class about college so that my application fee is waived for MATC. It's just a technical school that I'll be going to, but I am still very excited.

My money issues are gone at the moment. Yea, I'm still badly in debt, but at this moment I don't care. And I have a little extra money so I'm going to go buy six flag tickets. Because we're going to six flags Sunday. C:

So I'm kind of bored at home right now, but I was out shopping earlier with Brenda. I got a few shirts, and sunglasses; spent too much money though. Oh well. Then we went to get our nails done. The guy that does mine, Kevin, likes me. Haha. He's funny and nice, but I have my Steve.

And by the way, he just got a new job. Yay for him. He's there right now, but he left his phone he so I have not talked to him yet. :C He should be home soon. And he's taking me to dinner and he has a gift for me.

Right now, my mom's on her way over to bring me a cake, hehehe.

I'll write later. I have a busy night, sort of. <3