Even though I love you all, most of you I have not talked to in a while and I don't think many of you even read this anymore, so I guess that's why I don't write anymore. I hope you all still know that I do care about you. There's so many of you that I miss and wish I got to talk to more often.
I can't believe that it's already August. This summer has gone by so fast. My life seems to be passing me by. Things have been going pretty well, lately. There's somethings that suck and hurt me dearly, but those are also the things I have learned that I have no control over. Those things are my parents and their emotional health, for lack of better words, & also my grandmother's physical health. My parents are arguing a lot lately. My dad did some pretty shitty things to my mother and they've been talking about getting a divorce. Lately, it seems as things have been going better between them. But my mother is always upset and as much as I try not to let it get to me, sometimes, it just does. I just wish she was more positive about life. She doesn't realize just how much we actually care about her, even though I have told her time and time again. I know even my father loves her more than anything and is just doing some stupid things, because he, himself lacks self confidence. Basically, he's having trust issues and is watching my mother... which is really stupid. I don't know. I told them both that even if they got a divorce, I'd still love them both the same. All I want is for them both to be happy again. *Sigh*
As far as my grandmother goes, her health is getting worse by the day. They had to move her to a nursing home in the beginning of the summer and she hates it. She says she rather die then be there. I don't know. It's hard. I don't see her enough, but yet it's really hard to see her the way she is. She used to be the nicest, happiest person I've ever known, but now she's sick and depressed. I just wish she wasn't in so much pain. And I hope that she knows how much she is loved and admired.
Let's talk about something happy now. And get to my news.
Steve and I had a mini vacation on July 25th. We went up north to his friend's aunt and uncle's land on a private lake. The land is near his parents house in Northern Wisconsin. The whole weekend, we went camping on the land. Most of the time, we just enjoyed grilled food and drink a little bit, telling stories around the campfire. Saturday, we went tubing on the river. It was a lot of fun, even though my fat ass kept dragging because parts of the river were very shallow. But we did that for almost 5 hours; just hanging out inner-tubing across the river, with his brother and his brother's wife. Fun stuff. I can't wait until we can go again next year. :) On Sunday, we packed up camp and heading to his parents house. After showering for the first time since Thursday (lol), we met his parents at church and had a lunch. Then, Steve somehow convinced me to go on a picnic with him on a cliff at one of his favorite state parks. We stopped at a store along the way to get some fruit and champagne. That's when I found out I left my purse at the church, so no champagne for us. I found out the cops had my purse, and I got it back later so no big deal. We got to the state park and went on a hike to the highest point of the park, which overlooked Wisconsin. It was pretty!!!! We sat down and started to eat when Steve had me stand up. I was kind of confused by it because I was in the middle of eating and I also kind of realized what was about to happen... After questioning him why I had to stand up, I did. He then told me he loved me, pulled out a ring, which I feel stupid about now.. because I was too focused on that, lol! He asked me to marry him, and of course, I said yes. He told me later that he had a whole speech planned out, but didn't remember at the time, but he told me a little of it later on. LOL. It was perfect, regardless.
We haven't planned much of the wedding yet. I think the most important things are my dress, those standing up, the date, the church, and of course that he shows up!! HAHA. I know he will though. We don't really have a date, but I think it's going to be sometime in 2010. I think maybe in the late summer or early fall. I asked a few of my girls to stand up. Brenda is suppose to be Maid of Honor, but sometimes, I worry that she doesn't want to. I don't know... I asked my friend Cela. She's become a good friend. I met her at work. I asked my two older sisters to. I also want my sister Mindy to, but haven't asked her yet. I am trying to convince Steve to let me have 6 girls so I can also have my sister Sam. But he thinks that's too many. Bleh. We'll see. Two of the guys we asked our my brother and his friend, Matt. He hasn't talked to Matt lately, but I guess Matt was a close childhood friend. I think his brother will also be standing up. I'm not sure if he'll be best man or not though. And he has yet to pick the other guys to stand up. But we have time. We went to the state fair the other day and there's a building with shops and like a lot of advertising for business. We were just walking around when we both seen these wedding photographs done by some local photographer. I LOVE THEM! Of course, I'll look around a little more...but I think I may look into having them take pictures. One of the pictures was the wedding party standing on rocks by Lake Michigan and that convinced me to have the wedding pictures done near the lake and one on the rocks. We'll see though. :) We decided that we want to get married in a church, that is ours alone. So we are going to try to attend church services together and find one we love!!!! I'm not as religious as he is, but I do believe and I've always wanted to take my family to church services. That's about all the planning we've really done... besides for Cela talking about the bachelorette party already, haha.
Besides from that, today I'm going to try to get approved for a loan to pay off credit cards and buy a car. Wish me luck!! I'm trying to go back to school August 25th. But I'm waiting on my approval letter... and then I have to take a placement test. And also, I'm hoping to god for finical aid. I'm scheduling a driver's test as soon as I get my car. I want to pratice in my own car for a little while, before I take the test.
Well... that's about all. But that's alot, huh? HA. :)
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cold
lazy
bouncy
cheerful